i was sick...damn it...

i believe the saying "if you didnt die of the accident, theres something good behind it"
at least i hope so
cos i didnt die

but during that past few days
when i cant do anything but lye on the bed
i seriously thought
its fine, just let me die
but i didnt
so i am expecting something good to happen

or is what i am having now the "good"?
whatever

hmm...wierd things about me???

its been a long long long long time since i last updated my blog...
and thanks to jolynn...tagging me in her blog...i updated my blog when i am supposed to be doing my assignments...jolynnlynn ah...ur fault...

so whats the weird things about me?
hmm
hey dont u think i m such a normal n cute n average gal? hmm?
did u fall off ur chair? i apologize for that.


1. the fact that i seriously dont think i am so weird while the others around me like "if u r not wierd then theres no weirdoos in the world"

2. i always have all the weirdest dream that u cant even imagine...RPG-game-like dream with scary muscle man...threatening my favourite idol in my dream to force him to take pic with me with a can opener...manga male characters turning female in my dream n i was like 'u r so pretty~' and she(he) actually blushed...lll-.-

3. (this one from miracle)i already thought of how many kids i want to have and hav a list of their names writen down. and the fact that i think is fine to live my life without a husband BUT not fine without children.(sperm bank,adopt...)

4. (this one from jolynn)i enjoys doing weird movements...like she said "the shakey shakey movements that u do on my bed". dont think too much like miracle did, its not anything obscene. its just a trying to shake ur head n arms like a manga character thingy that i do for fun...and p/s i dont think thats weird.

5. i enjoys sleeping A LOT. many of u would say "i like sleeping too" but believe me, u cant sleep like i do. i can wake up at 2pm and sleep again at 3pm after lunch...then wake up at 6pm for dinner then feel sleepy at 8pm...and i cant survive without at least 10 hours of sleep...(ok...u might think is not weird but i think normal ppl dont sleep like that rite?)

6. i dont mind being alone (i actually feel vy comfortable being alone). hmm, like miracle might say " i would never go a restaurant alone for meals" when i m thinking when i would go there alone. lol

7. i can reread a manga or a chinese love novel for the 10th time and still cry for the story.

8. i can go to a restaurant for 10 times and order the same thing.

9. i can tell u i lost my book after searching for 2 hours while its on the table.

10. i hate myself quite often and the next moment i can tell myself just forget about it and go for nap since i have to bear with myself for the rest of my life.


arent i normal...no?yes?who cares. lol.
p/s jolynn, i peel my fingers too though it really hurts sometimes

chinese new year

somehow everyone's blog renewed about chinese new year,not wanting to be different from the others, i seek for something to write about my chinese new year too.

so whats chinese new year to you?
1. time to receive ang pao to enjoy luxurious life(even if it will only last for a month or even a week?)
2. time to have bottomless coke and never ending new year biscuits?
3. time to enjoy life with all your family and relatives gathered together?
4. time to chit chat and catch up with the newest gossip?
5. time to gather with all the gamblers to gamble?
which of these suites your chinese new year?

but
to me
its more than that

can you imagine, meeeeeee, who dont watch tv(besides american idol and next top model), watches the most tv during chinese new year???
can you imagine, meeeeeee, who simply love sleeping(even sleeping after makan?!) slept the least during chinese new year???
can you imagine, meeeeeee, who talks a lot a lot(jolynn and xin xin will definately agree with that) talk the least of the year during chinese new year???

omg
so to me, theres bad side of chinese new year too
imagine i am sooooo bored that i had to watch show that i watches every year? (despite the ang paossss that i hav collected)
imagine i have to wake up early in the morning to go others people's house to watch their tv? (despite of the amount of coke i have drank)

ok lah
i felt bad grumbling those too
just telling everyone about my chinese new year
despite from those points, i enjoyed my chinese new year anyway

haha
happy everday to everyone
saranghamida~~~~

p/s anyone interested in emiko chan's poem about A104 pls redirect yourself to http://miracle-kiseki.blogspot.com/ since its in xinxin blog i dont want to post again

FOOD

so its about food this time...
jolynn always say i sleep after meal
well
its quite true anyway
and it feel great

i love food
and somehow people around me love them too
so we never succeed in diet-ing
(did we ever even tried?whatever)

i can eat just white rice with cheese or soy sauce
or my kakak's ikan bilis sambal
its the best in the world

and, just to inform
(jolynn must be damn shock)
i started eating oranges
and i like them!
at least better than apples
(i still dont like fuji apples!!!)

below
is a poem, a so call poem thing
dedicated to everyone
by our dear emiko chan
(dear,i am really surprise that u DO eat vegie...really)

Food…
You are so yummy
You keep my tummy
Nice and full

Meat…
You are so juicy
You are so delicious
You keep me alive

Veggie…
I might not like you
But you keep me healthy
Away from diseases

When I am hungry
When I am famished
You are always there
To keep me satisfied

Food oh delicious food
How can I live without you?
You are the source of my life
You are the one I live for… food…

see
we all love food
how can we live without them?
how can we?

Blaming yourself

...and so we started the conversation, the main reason for us to have 'blamed each other' is because yixin is going to melbourne,australia. (yixin,this is all your fault)

(ek aka emiko kidd, hz is me lah)
ek:my friend say in Melbourne the legal age to enter casino is 18
ek:must call yi xin to dun go there

...somehow i saw the first sentence and straight away conclude that emiko wanted me to call yixin to GO to the casino...

hz:ahah
hz:then she will come back broke and huant u down wif the rest of her life
ek:y haunt me
ek:sure hunt her darling which is u
(thanks for that XD )
hz:u call her to enter mah
ek:i nvr say that
ek:u read again carefully

...and so i realize my mistake, being ME, admitting a mistake is just not what i do, what I DO is pushing the mistake to someone else...

hz:u just said that
hz:read up
ek:Emiko Kidd says:must call yi xin to dun go there
(seems that she copied what she said)

hz:u call yixin to go there
ek:see the dun
hz:now only u add the word dun
ek:?
ek:u go see carefully
(did she or did she not realize i am trying to ignore my mistake?)

hz:din see the word dun
hz:din see
(and so she realize)
ek:haha
ek:so its ur fault
ek:blame me
(see?she is asking me to BLAME HER)

hz:blame u lah
hz:who else to blame
ek:urself
hz:oooh
(due to the differ in the speed of our typing,now only i see her 'blame me')
ek:u should blame none but urself
hz:me to blame u? (her sentence seems so to me)
hz:can
ek:one should blame no other but themselves
hz:then y are u blaming me?
hz:when u should blame urself?
(its her logic, blame urself)

ek:cos u r blaming me for ur own fault
ek:when i have done nothing wrong
hz:but u blame me when u say ppl should only blame themselves
ek:i din blame u
ek:i just say u should blame urself and not others
hz:but u sounds like u are blaming me for blaming you
ek:haha
(see? she is trying to run away from the topic)

ek:wan me to write stupid poems for ur blog?
hz:k k
hz:want
ek:haha
ek:lol
ek:i will write about A104 k
ek:u tell me what to write about
ek:i very lazy to think

hz:...
hz:u ask me if i want u to write poem
hz:then u ask me to think?
ek:lol
ek:fine lah
(and where's the poem?)

these are pointless conversation that we had between us. If you are going to ask if we always talk those kind of nonsence, bingo, dear.
p/s ignore the grammatical errors and spelling mistakes that we had(or i had) during the conversation, is just normal to ignore rules.

A week before moving back...

I finally got 2006 Sm winter town!!! yeah!!! but is damn expensive,my heart ached for some time...and i finally re-arranged my music folder...as expected,i spend 2 days on it.

all of a sudden i realise my holidays are going to end. how long have i spend sleeping, online, watching anime, writing the suju fanfic? the relaxations are going to end.(how sad!) though i really missed my pals from kl it does make me worry a little by thinking of starting school again.

obviously i wont be staying with all my dear dear housemates again. who will i meet this time? bet they wont be as nice as my ex do. so what if my roommate's a freak? what if she is so damn quiet that i would want to bang my head on the wall to make her speak? so what if, i open the hostel door, to nobody's greeting and a house of quietness? that i shouted 'tadaima' and hear only the echo from the emptyness in the house and also from my heart? that i have to get used to eating alone, walking out of the hostel without no one to say 'itekimasu'? that when i look out of the window and when i see a beautiful rainbow that i have no one to share with but only to smile to the rainbow alone and feel the depth of loneliness drowning me?

i wonder how long it would take before i get used to the cold, from the feeling of no family around me, when i am so bored and i found out that i woundnt be able to just knock on room1 and walk in to just sit down and stared into wanting's poster or see jolynn studying? when i am too exhausted from studying i cant bang into room3 to see what's ivy doing or to lye on her bed? when i look around wanting to share a joke and yixin's not there? and no more of hearing the deafening music from janice's computer and not seeing xiao lu who wont leave her computer? not to mention hearing aifang shouting for jolynn, chingyee at the window side wispering and often visits of evonne wylie? damn, i am starting to miss all these already...

then, to add to the worse, new environment of studying. i am always the one whos afraid of changers to occur. i took so long to get used to ausmat. and now i have to face another new environment again, having no friends whos taking the same course with me,only seeing familiar faces during lunch? i wonder how long would i take this time. besides from that, i am going to uni. this fact finally hits me. it wont be the same way of teaching, studying, all of a sudden i am taking different subjects that i always thought as difficult to handle. hell, why in first place i took communication...i am never good in communicating,but deep down i wanted to try out, i wanted to be good in it, but what will it take? how long will it take? what will i be giving in to earn this? or worst, that i spend 3 years suffering and to realise that i would never be good at it?

i always wanted to try, the thought of trying always put me on hook, like walking on a fragile thread thinking that i might have a chance of getting to the other end without realising that i would never do a good job? i always thought i can do many things, that even if i wont be the best i can be better than nothing? and the truth is i am always not meeting what i expeceted for myself. just look at my IS marks. lawrence warned us so many times but i just thought that i will try it out, that i wont get bad marks and i expected something more than what i got in the end.

sometimes when i look back at how i think of many things, i wonder if others think the same way? if i am just one of normal people wondering around? if the things that i thought make me me are the same things that make the others them? the thoughts and feelings are so real that i cant imagine someone elses shared them, thought the same way i thought and feel it the way i felt. it feels lousy thinking that i am just the average jane that do average things think the average way and achieve average marks making no part of me a little more special...i am the jack of all trade,knowing a little bit of everything but master of none. (okay,my name change from joanne to jane then to jack,call me anything you like)

then...i realised,i am so away from what i wanted to say in the first place...lll-o-

whatever lah. i am thinking of what i would be bring already...really really hope that i can get to stay with ivy n jojo or janice...haiz,faith,haiz,life. they are all so troublesome. dont you think so?

p/s if u see wrong words or spelling pls ignore...


!!!i suddenly realise i am writing all the serious and boring stuff...thanks for the patients to even read them...all the funny stuff hid when i am writing my blog...where are you~~~

hey...for my pals frm sunway...

if i said that i din post anything is because i forgot the username, is anyone going to laugh?
turn your back bafore u laugh.

i am listening to sm town winter album while thinking what i should write here.i love the songs but i still cant find the cd...whenever i listen to these songs they reminded me of the sm town summer that my dear dears buy for me for my birthday althought i half forced them to...
i always have too many to say when i am without the computer and nowhere to find them when i actually sit down infront of the laptop.

this is the second last day of the year 2006. many things happen this year,too many indeed.
so many that when i think of 2006,my mind come to blank.all i remember is party with my housemates and endless exams...i wonder if i live my life to full...i wonder if i left any regrets.

year 2006
i enter AUSMAT
i enter A104
i met my housemates
i make new frens
i went shopping around kl
i work for my exams
i get to know about super junior and got obsessed before my finals
i had worries and sadness
i had fun and happiness
i sometimes sigh and i laughed too
if u ask me,if there is a chance to rewind the clock
and back to 2005
would i still choose to stop at the sunway AUSMAT booth
and register
and live there
i can tell that
i do not know
i think of the suffering i receive from ausmat
but when i think of my dear housemates and frens
i just cant say that i regreted
if the sufferings are a mean of 'take away' to 'grant' me these precious friends...
and there i will say a 'yes' again
because i cant
cant imagine my life without you guys anymore
how am i suppose to live without you? how am i suppose to laugh without you?
i feel myself getting gross
dont sweat me or vomit
i miss all of u
the times we spend together
the times we wasted together
i love you guys
just remember,
YOU ARE SO GORGEOUS

p/s haiz...y am i feeling so down???